What traditional marriage counselors aren’t necessarily aware of is it that infidelity acts as a drug within the brain/mind of the betraying spouse. It was that knowledge that helped me to be able to cope. Often betraying spouses find breaking off with the affair partner a difficult task, although it is a necessary one, if the primary relationship is to be repaired. The affair acts in much the same way as an addiction does in the brain of the affair partner. The betraying party needs to get serious about breaking the addictive ties to the third party and end all contact. Just as a person with a drinking problem has to get serious with ending all exposure to alcohol likewise the affair partner needs to end all exposure to the third party.