How could your partner betray you like this? THAT is the biggest question. When we read the foundational information there are factors that pull and factors that push a person. As I read the list of pull factors: attraction, sex, companionship, admiration, power, novelty, excitement, risk, challenge, curiosity, enhanced self image, and limerence they are all about the person having the affair. As I real the list of the push factors: escape, boredom, desire to punish, prove attractiveness or worth and desire for attention, again they are about the person having the affair. The concept that the affair is as a result of an inadequacy on the part of the betrayed spouse doesn’t seem to hold water.