Sometimes it is what you don’t do that is the problem

Traditional counseling often takes the approach that if you had met all the other person’s needs then the infidelity wouldn’t have occurred.  This is a very simplistic perspective.  A person often has 3 types of maturity levels: a child’s mindset; a teenage mindset; or an adult mindset.  If one of the individuals has a child’s mindset then the other person is cornered into the perpetual giver and never receives.  Envision a 6 year old and the never ending demands of I want you to do this for me but sadly the concept of giving is nonexistent.  When one person is stuck in the “taker” mode then the “giver” eventually is drained dry.  It is then easy for the “taker” to stand on his/her pedestal declaring you didn’t do “this” for me which was why I had an affair.

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