Often when a person realizes that their partner has betrayed their trust and cheated, their emotions go into a sort of Alice in Wonderland conflict. One part of their emotions realizes that if this situation is to be worked out then they had best proceed with caution and not do more damage to an already shattered relationship. The other part of their emotions wants to release the bellowing pain beneath. The cheating spouse may be in living in Never Never Land and just want the whole situation to disappear or with an attitude of self-justification hold an air of superiority to avoid any consequences falling their way or try to control the situation. Whatever the emotional state of the cheater or the betrayed spouse, it would be safe to assume that neither has been prepped for such an emotional flux that will be within each spouse as they try to navigate their way through the damage. Affair pain has the ability to disable a persons ability to function. The reactions range from feelings of suicide to post-infidelity stress disorder to almost a third-party emotional state where you know your body is going through the daily functions but emotionally your body has shut down – it is as if you are a passenger watching your body drive the car. The 7-steps program guides each party through the process of moving ahead either together or apart.
