In traditional counseling the relationship is the main focus. The relationship is defective but little focus is given to the “me” part of each individual. Often the “needs” approach is all consuming to the exclusion of introspection of each person’s personality and habits. Intimacy anorexia, which is the withdrawal of one person’s engagement in the relationship, is a major contributor…
Traditional counseling addresses the perfectionist in terms of the personality but generally not within the scope of infidelity. If you are a perfectionist there is a tendency to project your mindset onto others. That means the likelihood exists within the marriage that your expectation of your spouse is to meet your performance levels. Should the spouse not meet your expectations…
The betrayed spouse runs amuck with emotion. Some suppress emotions. For other people, emotions reign and overtake your whole being. Unless the counselor understand the mind of the betrayed how to deal with flashbacks, hyper-vigilance and obsessive thoughts are all but ignored. Thoughts and memories that were placed on the shelf have all been brought down for examination. Everything you’ve…